To Whom It May Concern –
This blog constitutes my resignation from the title, moniker and stressful position of being a ‘STRONG BLACK WOMAN’ effective immediately. The entire scope of the concept has left me tired and out of sorts not to mention this position is hella stressful.
Carrying this around has broken my back more than the actual stuff I’m suppose to be so strong for. Who decided that I needed to be so fucking strong. I can’t do shit! I can’t be sad, I can’t be mad, I can’t cry, I can’t ask nobody for shit, I can’t emote, I can’t be a bitch – like dayum!
Whole groups of black men are no longer willing to help, check up on or assist because some of you broads are constantly running around I’m Strong, I’m independent, I don’t need…well guess what – I DO!! I need some fucking help! Can a sister put down all these damn totes from the beginning of time and just relax and get the hump out her back?
Can I just admit that nigga gave me the best dick ever and I’mma miss him! No I don’t damn him to hell – he meant something to me!!!!! why I got to act like him packing his old duffel bag didn’t send me in the bathroom tub in the dark about to go off. I can’t even say above a whisper that I even..want..a man.
The sheer act of posting at MINIMUM 35 meme’s a day about how broke the fuck down I was….last night, but with myself and God I’m alright is exhausting and I haven’t seen any growth in this position.
I want all my ability to be soft, feminine and sometimes just be like ‘baby I don’t know how to do” “I don’t want to do it” “Can you help me do it” back! There are so many pockets of this ‘gang’ and it is a gang that makes even hanging out not worth it. Funny all we do is fight and think up situation where we can pull out the moniker like it’s a damn AARP card. I’m Happy bout that card, not so much about the rest.
No no need to pat me on the back or give me a going away party. I don’t want it. I just want while I’m gone for some focus groups and some editing of the manual to be done while I’m gone. I will jump back in there at some point – I just really need a break – I work better when I can have a healthy balance between strength and vulnerability.
*though this is satirical in a manner of speaking…it ain’t.