Because I’m Happy…or am I?

I have about 250 people (friends) on my  main social media page.  Every day at least 50 of them begin the day with the following declaration –  – I AM SO FUCKING HAPPY!  It scrolls by like a parade. Some of the floats come in the form of just being happy you are alive and breathing, some come as because I’m happy you need to be to pronto, some throw subtle shade at the fact that they are happier than you., you get the drift.

As the day progresses, we roll out all kinds of things and ways we are happy..we post selfies and are happy we look presentable, we post food and are happy we know how to cook and eat, we post about how extremely happy we are in our friendships, at our jobs, and in our relationships, When folks get all in their feelings about revealing stuff on the internet and all that mess, it’s usually because it goes against the pattern.  Lord don’t be happy and then you are ungrateful and are chastised cause after all you woke up, thus happiness is a freaking given.

However, I beg to differ that even though we do this all day (and I am a part of this, sometimes the President) nothing in our make up, upbringing, etc. etc. lean towards us being..happy!  We spend all this time NOT being happy, but CONVINCING ourselves that we are and seeking VALIDATION from others concerning this feeling.

The entire structure of life (let’s just say in this country to narrow it down) is to promote you being UNHAPPY and then run you crazy trying to find that elusive happiness. It’s the best drug around.  They tell us we are never enough, we aren’t pretty, we don’t make enough money, we live wrong, buy wrong, eat wrong..etc. etc. They get you hooked on unhappiness and then peddle all kinds of antidotes to you only to have you back unhappy and the cycle continues.

It’s like we are programmed to be unhappy first and thus we seek that first and are always surprised when things are not full of drama, bullshit etc. etc.  We wake up and immediately feel like everything we have to do is going to be fucked up – so then we need ‘things’ (usually most commonly coffee) to make us feel happy. We count down all day from work or whatever we are doing because it’s making us unhappy, but the destination is happiness which might include some wine, running out your job, putting the kids to sleep – it’s always off in the distance…somewhere.

It becomes so addictive that we will move heaven and earth to make ourselves or a situation unhappy because somewhere along the line, we have convinced ourselves that we don’t deserve it.  That if it’s happiness I don’t want no parts of that shit, lol Get it away from me.  The joy is in CLAIMING we are happy, not in actually BEING HAPPY.  How bout that?!  I do it, if I’m happy to many days in a row…then Dammit, I’m bout to be unhappy – so then I have a mission – GET BACK TO HAPPY, lol

We can’t even take ownership of that, our PARENTS are the beginning of that cycle – ever see a child where someone says “oh they look so happy” they are playing in the mud, the rain or running around with no shoes and drawers on. What happens next? The parent will immediately run over and proclaim “STOP THAT SHIT! YOU’RE EMBARASSING ME!” and proceed to ruin your happiness. So then the child become tentative to express individual happiness, and begins to have to ask whether or not they can be…happy.  Your child is happy eating rocks and playing with legos – OH NO!! you better get your ass on the field and play a game. Your child is happy sitting in the back of the room reading – OH NO!! You better go to a magnet school and take 17 classes and have 100 pages of homework a night. You see where I’m going with this….

I certainly can’t leave out the NUMBER ONE place where we just REFUSE and that’s…relationships.  We spend most of our lives developing them, nuturing them and fucking em up – that’s just what we do.  We have long long lists of what we SAY we want and what will make us over the world happy BUT if we actually run into it..we run for the hills.  We can be perfectly happy in a situation and let our guard down and then BAM! We will set it ablaze because quite frankly it’s way to much responsibility to be..happy, lol  that takes you (1) admitting you are (2) admitting you deserve it and (3) admitting that you actually want to work to maintain it for more than a moment.

I’ve come to fanthom that I don’t believe nothing anyone says about what they want – look at who they actually are with.  You can proclaim you want a man who is this this and this BUT every time I see you (and apparently me, lol) some dude is sitting in your living playing play station, driving your car, eating your food and putting you in the prime situation of being..UNHAPPY. Guys are not exempt from this – they sit around talking bad about most of the modern day female population and what not but the first big booty hoe and her wayward kids, baby daddies, drama, foul mouth and empty pocketbook – they up and wifing with the quickness…Uh huh.

I think that if we are honest with ourselves that we are victims of being unhappy and treat it like the illness that it is, we might actually work our way into a state of being happy on a more consistent basis. Really happy – I bet if we treated it like we were running in the rain, barefoot up to our ankles in mud..screaming, laughing and feeling FREE to be a person who desires it, deserves it, blossoms from it and wants other people around who genuinely make us feel it…social media and our lives would become something totally different.

Oh and one more the folks that DON’T GIVE A FUCK…..yes, yes you do!

(these are my opinions and thoughts and may or may not apply to you and yours)


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