Hmm now THIS is an interesting subject if I say so myself. I have technically been ‘spiritually’ unmarried for about a year now and ‘legally’ unmarried for eight months.
I will say that the biggest and hardest portion of the whole thing was the social media adjustment and uncoupling. To this day, I still get private messages asking about where my husband was, lol Never think folks are jocking you like you think they are cause they…aren’t, lol We still share 22 facebook friends…..i have been betrayed by some folks – so I have tried to be civilized and let’s just say respectful as I have moved on with my life, but I have moved on.
Now about this being single thang – there are parts of my personality that I have unleashed, do you hear me?! I am quite comfortable with a few things (1) my love of black men (2) the fact that I enjoy looking and being around them and (3) that I am a viable attractive woman who has desires and I carry myself like that. I don’t pretend like they don’t exist. I am not married to my kids or God or any of that lol I needs and admires me a M-A-N!!! I find it quite amusing that I pretty much lead the pack in my social media circle on these things, lol I sometimes wish I could get even looser – I mean technology and social media have opened up doors and avenues and bridges like never before and Brothers are letting it ALL hang out, lol HOWEVER, like anything else – all your circles don’t flow in the same direction and I push up against the lines but when i want to sit outside of them..I know where to go.
The things that have caused me some amusement though have been my taste and preferences. I fell under the spell of the chocolate brother when the rest of the black women in my age group did and I have progressively been attracted to darker and darker brothers. The way my ole diluted mulatto skin looks against that black is almost an instant orgasm, lol I honestly can’t even close my eyes and see anything but darkness, lol Now that I’m 48 though, my scale has moved forward and so I had to set some parameters and of course Michael Jackson is usually my scale for these things. I don’t date anyone shorter than him and now I don’t date anyone older than him (as a general rule). So I moved the age scale to 45-56 and I’m not really interested in the lower levels but this age group is a scarce one, so I need to keep my options open. One more thing is that Lord once you start working out, it’s real hard to not want someone who shares your interest in that. though it’s not written in ink, I need a brother who is about that fit life!! I want to be able to explore in that area and having a mate who enjoys it can help greatly.
This is where the saying God takes care of fools, babies and apparently me comes into play, lol I was standing there, perfectly capable, ready and able to explore life as a single woman when I looked up and something so magical and romance novel worthy began happening that I’m still sitting here like um…wow. What I am glad I didn’t do was question it or allow society or well meaning folks or doomsday folks to make me question it. Being of sound mind and body and an unmarried woman, I can do what I want on the time-table I want and I have been quite happy. This won’t be a social media event. Been there done that and I think I want to hold this close and just deal in shadows and filters, lol
Whatever happens, moreso than ever before in any period of my life, I’m ready for it and feel all kinds positive about what lies ahead for me.