Swishes

When is Kem coming out with new music?

Now that I am a principal cast member on the new reality show Real Coworkers of the COA, I’m kinda mad that no one told me VH-1 was not interested – I’m acting my ass off in the episodes for nothing..sigh.

I hope that Janet posts like a picture of the new baby’s…feet, lol  Give us something girlie!

I need to write a piece about the internet or social media in particular, after watching an episode of Blackish – it made me think about some things

I actually said what I wrote in my head, just like I wrote it and it felt good.

My 2017 Michael Jackson goals are starting to come together – I’m late

I’m ready for my next relationship to be full time

If this promotion doesn’t come thru..my whole way of life is going to have to shift

Every morning I look towards that corner – life certainly has changed

I will say being in a new space and hearing what folks say about me, means that the concerted effort I have made to be who I said I was instead of who I was exhibiting is working – I need to just keep believing

Because it’s sooo all over the place, I want to write out say 5 things that I feel have influenced my retreat and 5 things that I am responsible for before I make this therapy appointment.  I need to focus.

It really is ok at damn near 51 years old to be bold enough to say, It doesn’t matter where I am at in my own development, I’m far enough along to know this is not what I want.

The friendship will never be the same – maybe this year we will talk about it.

I will start with baby steps to try to once again at minimum be able to co-exist on social media.  Instagram is a good place to start I suppose.

Every time things like this happen – I do take pride in the fact that I know how to survive.

I want to get to a place where I can relax – I’m tired of the business of being..broke.  I’ve worked it my whole life.  I want to take on some new ideas, re-arrange my money some new ways. Admit I want nice things.

I haven’t had a hood crush in awhile and thanks to Donald Glover – I now have the Migos

Maybe I should change my car’s name from Fetty Wap to something else, apparently it’s not giving me any love.

 

 

 

 

 

 

A Few Sips of the Good Stuff

It seems to go the same way, I attempt to tag someone with something I specifically think they will enjoy and that is when I discover that we are no longer friends on Facebook.  This is the third time that has happened.  I then will go and see how many folks are no longer mystified by that which is Pamela, lol  Apparently this time 2 people are no longer on the friend list. Ok…….. (yea it sometimes bothers me especially in one case – this is a part of life now and so moves made on the platform are considered with feelings. Stop pretending that it doesn’t, especially because nine times out of ten you actually know these people)

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Straight up –  I am embarrassed that I have gained my weight back.  Yea there are many factors, but the truth is when you eat – there is a 90% chance you are going to gain and it’s going to come back so much quicker than it took to get it off.  It is moments like these that i am glad I have the love of folks because I don’t look like when we saw each other almost three years ago, but he loves me, I have backed out of surprise visits to her gym and haven’t been to her new space, but she still loves me, I have gotten frustrated in the mirror, but she says mom don’t do that, cause she loves me.  I see folks who say I ‘inspired’ them trying and being.  I KNOW how hard it is, I see folks everyday in my space.  I’m not sure why I couldn’t push through the depression this time in a positive way.  I feel this weight – my chin is looking like damn hot dogs, my knees are slow to heal but I decided that I won’t let that be a ‘crutch’.  3 years ago on January 21st I had my first epiphany and joined Planet Fitness.  I haven’t ever cancelled my membership and I don’t intend to.  I picked that date because I didn’t want to be a New Year New Me person.  A trip to the Dr. and a photograph in an old ball gown did it.  Time for me to get out this lurch and clear my head in a more healthier way.  I can do this….I can do this..Summer 2017 will be cute and sexy.

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I really don’t want my social media to turn into endless and continuous political and race posts but this time in history is turbulent and it has certainly taken over and it’s so compelling that you have to piece together where you stand by what is posted.  I know there are so many of my more cynical brothers and sisters that have slid down in their seats waiting on the inevitable – us to fade off into the horizon like we usually do and it’s inevitable and I can admit that I’m so driven right now by just pure emotion, but I also no matter how I have decided to define my spirituality believe that the white man is the devil, so don’t get that twisted as I compose my narrative.  I am well aware that a lot of this is just him being him, but because I’m not running between the lines of religion – I can dart all over the field picking up rocks to build my fortress – however, believe me when I say the foundation of that structure is that he’s the devil.

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One of my parenting objectives, especially when I moved from Philadelphia was to make sure she wasn’t me and I wasn’t her. There was a period where I was on that path and believe me that little time did some damage, but I recognized it in her eyes and so I changed and it has been for the better. The better of our relationship, the better of her future, the better of our future.  She’s not here to be the person I didn’t seem to be or to be the person I wish she was, she’s here to be the person she needs to be.  I tell her to live her authentic self whatever that is – people will always be fickle and some people will never accept anything less than what they feel they have the right to have control over.  I sat and pondered when I heard that there is ‘conditional’ love in existence in my life – to give it a name, gave me a self preservation platform I could stand upon and a new stage to make sure I stood her on.  Nah I don’t do that – I love her with all my being and I want her to soar and fly and make decisions and mess up and figure it out again and LIVE.  I don’t want her to have but minimal space to try to grow up while she’s being grown.  I have unconditional love for her, and if that means I have to re-examine what I’ve eaten and what’s been force fed to me..then I’m willing to do that.

 

Snownanigans 

I have been back in Atlanta since 1997. I grew up here from 5 to 18.  I consider myself a hometown girl.  I have no connection with any other state like I do Atlanta  (New York was my lover but I’m married to this place lol) 

A yearly event and local joy that happens here is the…snow storm.  Every damn year we have about as close to an apocalypse as you can get.  It’s like a holiday at this point lol

Its a continuous opening of presents that contain sweaters and trail mix. All this pretty packaging and you get all excited and don’t want not none of this shit.

It’s like you meet that fine dude and his game us nice, his kissing is nice and you and your body is ready and then it becomes Savannah and the guy who used her toothbrush 

It’s like going to a good steak house and the steak looks delicious and you cut it and it’s pouring blood

Now I’m not saying that the ice has not kicked our ass over the years nor that taking precautions isn’t necessary but whew the extraneous

Right now people are like, What the hell do I now do with 45 loaves of bread?

All the orgasms the news casters have had has made for one big mess in the back room. You could see how upset they were that this was not the big one.

We stay being the laughing stock of the Northern parts of the States.  

Kids are real Mad cause not only no snow but drunk mad parents abound. Oh yes the hell you are gonna do this homework I found lol 

Right now there are both men and women very upset that they either called their ex or moved too fast with someone or straight out hoed because they thought they were about to be on lock.

It’s only January we all will go on back to work and school on Monday and patiently wait on the next end of the world, cause of course it’s coming to Atlanta first lol